You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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