are you so shy because you have an std?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He kissed a someone with a penis
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
