he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
