Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
