We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
