we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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