So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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