champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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