I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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