I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
