I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
