More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
