Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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