Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
