I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
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A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
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Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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