Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
