College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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