shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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