i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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