AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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