I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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