its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
