I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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