We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
