College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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