I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
