For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize