New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
