Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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