Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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