What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
