You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
