i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
