How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
