Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
