just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
