Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Dick very happy bro
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
