dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
