I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
