You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
