awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The air taste purple.
Randomize