I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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