woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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