I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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