In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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