if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
