This is not my ceiling
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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