I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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