i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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