the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
