My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
