does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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