We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize