You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
