how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
