He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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