I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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