so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
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You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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