We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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