you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
