So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Even my vagina gasped.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
