He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
