what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
